#tech things

[xiaq]

Sometimes working in tech means being the only woman on a call. Sometimes it means being the only person (out of 4 participants) not named Mike.

[hauntedhotel]

Me, on the welcome desk in the library: Good morning, how are you today?

Customer: I have welcomed Jesus into my heart and so I am well today and every day.

Me, a little unnerved: Okay then! Is there something I can help you with?

Customer, digging around in his bag and pulling out an iPhone in a box: Unfortunately, Jesus can't help me with this fucking phone, so I came to the library.

[teethstoobigmouthwontclose]

In a fantasy setting, my job would be exactly the same

[kindaretr0]

I'm thinking of doing a blog entirely devoted to my tech shenanigans

I could also just keep it on this one, since I barely post as it is

[bubblegum-butch-blues]

Ghost lights!!!

[bugthingsdaily]

today's bug thing are these robot bugs!

[xiaq]

A customer: wants to do a 4-week trial/POC before signing a 100k+ contract (fair). Me, joking: what if, instead, I gave you all the documentation and a pinky promise it'll work for your usecase and you just sign a contract now, instead.

Customer: well if it comes with a pinky-promise, sure. :)

Me (thinking they're also joking): starts to set up the POC. Deal closure: Hey, your customer just asked for a contract. Me:

My account exec: Customer just signed. How'd you get them to agree to close without a POC?

Me:

My manager: Hey can you put together an internal resource for strategies you use to avoid POCs?

Me:

Manager: Maybe you could share in next week's team meeting.

Me :

[jaradraws]

DISCLAIMER: the blood is a feature, not a bug 🩸☎️

[thisdudedoesntexist]

Danny is a new technician at a rebuilt star labs. He didn't want to at first because Danny thought it would cut into his undead superhero/prince duties. Eventually though Clockwork (bullied) encouraged him and as it turns out, the lab is pretty lax about sudden "trouble at home". Plus, Danny can help set things back together when one of the Flashes messes up the timeline AGAIN.

(Flashpoint is what allowed Dan to come back as quickly as he did in the first place.)

The flash family, for lack of a better description, are straining. They're all putting up painted smiles that Danny knows aren't happening with his coworkers. Danny wants to be friendly with them but they're keeping him at a constant arms length away.

Barry, wally, Bart, and the rest of the flash family are freaking OUT. Why wouldn't they, their new technician caused the apocalypse. Granted they only know this because of an old speed scout from Bart. But it didn't have the time to tell them anymore than the name and some powers of one Dan phantom before fading. The timeline line the one man disaster's from doesn't exist anymore so they can't even check what happened or why the Dan destroyed everything. They can't even get rid of him because what if that sets off the guy!

[avkamfher]

New laptop is now loaded with some fun games, now to get the 3D sculpting software on it and see if there is a docking station available.

Might need to just make a dedicated art station for it.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Danny: Who was that?

Maddie: That was Bruce. He is an old college friend.

Jack grumbling: He's a worthless piece of trash. That's who he is.

Maddie: Honey, we buried the hatchet with Bruce long ago. You're the only one still mad.

Jack: Of course I'm mad! He broke my best friend's heart!

Danny: What?

Maddie: *sigh* Bruce used to date Vlad, and for the longest time, Vlad convinced himself Bruce was going to propose. Then, out of the blue, Bruce dropped out of college and broke up with Vlad. Two days later, he left the country. Vlad was a mess, which made his accident seven months later even worse, especially when proof of Bruce having a new girlfriend two days BEFORE dumping Vlad came to light.

Jack: I knew he was a punk from the moment I saw him. He defened ghosts! Claim it was inhumane the way we studied them! But I didn't argue with him for Vlad's sake, only to find out he was cheating on my best buddy!

Maddie: Vlad said he let it go years ago, Jack. He found someone else to love. And Bruce apologized and prove those pictures were dotted.

Jack: He lies!

Danny: What do you think Mom?

Maddie: I think Bruce was telling the truth that he never cheated, but I don't think he ever took his relationship with Vlad as seriously as Vlad did. Bruce always felt like he was on the verge of leaving, like there was something restless right under his skin.

Danny: Thats-

Jazz bursting through the front door: OMG I JUST SAW BRUCE WAYNE!

Danny: What?! Where!?

Maddie: Sweetheart he just walked out of our house.

Danny: THAT was Bruce Wayne!? I've heard of him, but I've never seen his picture....wait Vlad, the FRUITLOOP, dated heartthrob playboy philanthropist billionaire Bruce Wayne!?

Jack: I know! Vladdie could do so much better!

Jazz: Literally how!?

[lazylittledragon]

what if i broke all the bones in your legs actually

[stars-obsession-pit]

Following an accident, Danny wakes up in Gotham City in a DC universe. Lacking any forms of ID or possessions beyond the clothes on his back, he’s forced to commit some crimes to survive. Minor crimes, but still.

And then he gets caught.

During the court proceedings, they come to the mistaken conclusion that he’s a Meta suffering from some psychiatric issues such as Cotard’s Syndrome (a real rare condition where a person holds the delusional belief that they’re dead/don’t exist/etc).

Thus, between his “need for mental treatment” and the concerns about housing someone with his unique physical traits, he is sentenced to spend time in Arkham Asylum. He’s under pretty low security aside from the anti-Meta stuff and has more freedoms than some other inmates, but it’s still not a great experience. Even at the best of times, Arkham is hardly a nice place.

Some of his fellow residents are decently chill all things considered, but lots very much aren’t.

[bugthingsdaily]

today's bug thing is this beetle virtual pet!

[essayofthoughts]

It does ALSO exist for Firefox!

PSA for Google Docs writers

If you (like me) use Google Doc to write fanfic, you may (like me) have been annoyed by the new "feature" they added in the past few weeks, "Smart Chips," where by default every time you open a new line it auto-inserts a "@" symbol and then prompts to add additional people into the doc for review or whatever other useless thing I immediately closed out of.

There doesn't appear to be a way to turn off this "feature" in GDocs however someone has put out an extension that nixes it: